Bad Mental Day

I am not a good friend. I want friends. Being around them makes me happy. Some of the best times of my life were with friends.

I do best with friends.

I am not good at maintaining friends.

I have little to no confidence in my social connections with people. I get racked with the feeling that I am just intruding on them. I get in with friends a lot by luck and being in the right spot. When it comes to needing to work to maintain those connections, I fail. I don't call. I feel I am being a bother. I don't visit. I feel they don't want me there. I miss out and spiral downwards.

Even if they invite, plead, and try to cajole me into coming along, visiting, hanging out, or whatever, it doesn't break through the blockade in my head. They do want me to be around, but that doesn't break through. Positives have a metal wall to break through to get in my head, while negatives, real or imagined, pass right in. I get the feeling that I'm asked along as a pity invite or that they don't want around or because it's what's expected.

Logically I know I am wrong. I know people want me around. I know people like me. I know I can be a social person.

Emotionally, I feel am a social failure.

I don't think I am making sense now. I need to go think and collect my thoughts before I start babbling more.

Kindle for iPhone

My new favorite app for my iPhone is the Kindle!

Having all my books on my phone to read we I have a free moment is
nothing short of phenomenal. I get through my books so much faster and
I don't feel like I am wasting time waiting for a meeting to start.

If only I could take my current paper books and transform them into
kindle versions.

Foster Time! Again.

We're getting another foster real soon, Tuesday if all goes well. Look for pics soon of Boo the schipperke.

Need Proper Sleep

Sleep schedule is out of whack again. The later it gets, the more awake I feel. As much as I would love to stay up late and wake up at a natural time for me, I still have to wake up for training. Boo

Belated Happy Birthday!

To my oldest cat. Snotface is 12 now. The old man is even older.

Secret Tweet

If you like Postsecret, there's something similar on twitter. Checkout Secret Tweet.

Small Victory

Diet's work'n. Belt down 2 notches.