Sitting here at work pounding away on reports and code, I am questioning my decision to come back. No, that's not the right wording. In one way I am thankful to be back as the job is a stable one and with the wife being out of work for the foreseeable future, we need the extra cash. In a financial sense, it was a good move.
On the angle of being interested/motivated in my work, that is where the problem lies. Every day is a struggle to get the work done. Gone is the flare and interest I had in computers and coding that I had back in my previous incarnation of employment here. I don't feel a need/urge to excel and better myself. I don't feel that I am in control of my day-to-day tasks. I don't feel that I'm doing that bang up of a job. No surprise if I am slipping, I don't feel a need or desire to work over 40-45 hours a week. The more I work, the more time work is robbing me from my wife and my pets. They are paying me well, but not enough for me to take that time away. Historically I have felt that my pay has been lower than what I was producing, this time around I am adjusting my work to be in-line with that pay expectation. They want more work, then I should get more pay.
Though pay aside, the work is just not interesting. Maybe when we get along on the transition things will pick up, but that is a long time down the road. I don't feel I want to be doing this for a long time. I'm feeling I am not in this for the long haul. So that brings into light my current puzzle I am working out, what do I want to do for the long term. I liked the flexibility and control I had in my previous job, but the pay was not at a level that I could sustain my family. I feel locked and out of choices really. I have to provide and opportunities that provide what we need limit me in what I can do.
More random rants later, meeting time.
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